


eternal flame

by Ocearna



Category: Katekyou Hitman Reborn!
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-12
Updated: 2020-07-12
Packaged: 2021-03-05 04:21:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 633
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25218439
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ocearna/pseuds/Ocearna
Summary: Tsuna doesn’t like to remember the years before Reborn arrived."...eternal flames most often commemorate a person or event of national significance, serve as a symbol of an enduring nature such as a religious belief, ora reminder of commitment to a common goal..."
Comments: 1
Kudos: 54





	eternal flame

Tsuna doesn’t like to remember the years before Reborn arrived. He can think about them distantly and he knows that the things that happened then had a massive effect on who he is today. But he doesn’t like to actually _think_ about them and dredge up memories from those years. 

Unfortunately, there are some things he can’t forget. 

The cold that seeped through his bones and into his heart, making it hard to care about anything and everything. School, hobbies, friends, _family_ \- he couldn’t really bring himself to care about any of them. Or rather, his heart couldn’t care, even if his brain wanted to. 

The loneliness that gnawed at his mind and soul, filling him with self-doubt and fear and anger. Anger at himself for not trying to fix it, anger at other people for not reaching out. Anger at other people for not seeing his worth - even if he couldn’t see it himself. Fear that he deserved the loneliness, and fear that if anyone did get close they would realise just how much of a mess he was and leave again, just breaking him even further.

The haze that blanketed his mind, making it oh so hard to think about anything, even that which should have been simple. Studying, reading, even just eating - some days it all just seemed too hard, too tiring, too _much_. 

At the time, Tsuna figured he could just kind of drift through life and eventually something might… click. He thought that maybe something would catch his interest and he would be able to focus on it and actually get good at something. Maybe someone would reach out and befriend him and he would be able to pull himself up with their help. Or maybe something would change and it would kick his brain and heart and soul into _working_. 

Looking back… he supposes all of those things happened. 

Reborn crashing into his life was very unwanted at the time, but Reborn repeatedly pushing him to his limits and beyond had forced him to do things whether he wanted to or not, and somewhere along the way he had somehow become good at various things. Sure, they were fighting and running a mafia famiglia and not anything he had ever thought he would do but… he was _good_ at it. Apparently. Somehow.

He had made friends too - _so many_ actually - and their support and determination had carried him through so much, from amazing highs to terrifying lows. It wasn’t just the big things either. Hayato’s unrelenting belief in him, Takeshi’s ability to wash away his worries, Kyoya’s determination to make him the best, Ryohei’s unending encouragement, Mukuro’s trust in him despite his past, Chrome’s quiet support, and Lambo’s familial love - they had all done so much to keep him going. He knew he could never repay them - or any of the many others who had befriended him over the years - but that only made him even more determined to keep doing his best for them. 

Now, years after that fateful day when he first met Reborn, the haze is gone, replaced by a drive and determination that keeps him going no matter what. The loneliness is gone, chased away by the friends who forced their ways into his heart and now fill it to bursting with love. The cold is gone, the ice shattered by Reborn and everything that has happened, replaced with an eternal flame that only continues to burn hotter and brighter as the years pass and Tsuna finds more reasons to keep fighting, keep working, keep _living._

Maybe being a mafia boss isn’t what he had dreamed of as a child but looking around at his famiglia - his _family_ \- as they chat and bicker and laugh, Tsuna can’t imagine anywhere he would rather be. 


End file.
